A Toolkit For Chaos

A Toolkit For Chaos

Let’s validate our bad habits with this toolkit for chaos…

Anna Morrissey

Artwork by Anna Morrissey

Wearing

Chaotic Evil

A few years ago, being spotted out the house wearing a pair of Crocs would indicate the height of chaos, a personal inner turmoil exposed through rubber footwear. The past year however, Crocs have come back into the mainstream and every-one is gagging for a pair.

While the Croc itself no longer indicates chaos in terms of personal style, Balenciaga’s heeled version holds a chaotic mirror up to the vulgarity of the fashion industry. Coming in at a hefty £450, it feels almost immoral to spend so much money on a gimmick item that the trend cycles will most probably be done with in the next year.

That Mui Mui skirt - it was hot, we have to admit. But we all witnessed its fall from grace as every basic bitch and her mum paraded it around town. 

Tabis -  Every time an edgy, pale, bruised, anti-influencer posts a pic holding an inanimate object between the toes of their Tabi boots, a baby bunny dies. 

Chaotic Good

Sleeves - Much more chic than the arm warmer trend of the 80s, a pair of knitted sleeves can keep you warm this summer without ruining the silhouette of your outfit.

Ugly pants - Wearing matching lingerie everyday is internalised misogyny and I will diiie on that hill in the boxer briefs I bought from Topshop in year 8. #y2k #vintage #depop 

Weather inappropriate outfits - I admire a weather-disregarding dresser, someone who will prioritise the outfit over everything else. The contrast of skimpy dress to snowstorm adds to the drama of the ensemble.

Listening

Wet Leg’s new album is chaotic brilliance. Sarcastically poking fun at your own mental illness? yes please

Normal Gossip - Chaotic, juicy stories about people you don’t know, and will probably never meet. Kelsey McKinney shares with guests reader-submitted gossip. All of the stories she shares are entertaining, hilarious, and some are completely shocking. Slutty grandma’s, infidelity, run away brides … gossip without the consequence.

Icons

Often celebrity chaos is not iconic - cheating scandals, violence at the oscars, public divorce…

But we’re here to celebrate the chaotic icons of the last few months.

Brooklyn Beckham’s new career move - Photographer, newly-wed, and now celebrity chef! It seems the oldest Beckham child is proving the extent to which nepotism aids the assent to the top of the career ladder. Not that i don’t completely applaud his unbridled confidence and desire to explore his creativity. however, his debut dish of a bacon sandwich on the Today Show may have needed a bit more refining before being shared with the world.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson - This has been the year of the surprising celebrity couple. Everyone has a surprising new beau, but Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson getting together, just months after her public divorce to Kanye West, was a shock none of us expected. Whether you’ll admit it or not, the world is now thirsty for this couple, and no one can explain it.

Reading

My Year of Rest and Relaxation - The coming of age depression novel all the tiktok girlies are obsessed with. Is it worth the hype? Who am I to say. But it’s definitely an interesting dive into the psyche of a rich girl in New York trying to survive the turmoil of depression, grief, and being a chaotic bitch. 

Blood & Guts in HighSchool -

A surrealist literary collage that aims to deconstruct American politics and culture through the narrative of Janey, a 10-year-old girl struggling to survive on her own in New York. Aker shows the impossibility of being a woman in society who doesn't subordinate her body to the patriarchal order of things. Spanning many disturbing topics - TW incest, abortion, kidnapping, Janey is constantly searching for a way to belong - either to the world or to her own body. The only way she discovers she can disrupt the order of things is through her unapologetic sexuality, causing chaos through female desire. 

Tummy Ache Magazine ofcccc

Watching

The Ultimatum - I loveee a dating show. The vulnerability of putting yourself on TV in order to meet someone you may or may not fall in love with for the world, and more importantly your whole family to watch, is true chaos in my eyes. But, the concept of this show is a recipe for disaster. Six couples come onto the show, one person in each couple wants to get married while the other one has been given an ultimatum ‘Get married, or move on.’ The couples then separate for three weeks and choose a new partner (!) from one of the other couples. These new couples live together for 3 weeks, before going back to their original partner and living together with them for 3 weeks. For one thing, this show is not about love, but about stirring the pot and causing drama for our enjoyment.

Worst person in the world  - This film is a beautiful and evocative depiction of the confusing nature of coming of age. We follow Julie for four years of her young adult life, as she passes in and out of relationships, career paths, and ideas of who she wants to be. Joachim Trier ultimately captures the beauty and uncertainty of life. Through this young woman, who makes many mistakes, and in a traditional ideology of femininity as selflessness, appears quite selfish and erratic, Trier displays to us the transience of life, and that the small things we get caught up in and brought down by don’t matter as much as we think they do. 

Youtube -Everyone has their niche Youtube videos that they love to watch late at night and would never admit to anyone. But here I am breaking the stigma. Hi everyone, my name is Anna and I like watching mormon vloggers, 10k calorie challenges and Trisha Paytas.

Doing

Facebook Statuses - Is updating your Facebook status a red flag or extremely avante garde? It might be quite vintage actually.

Gross Food Combinations - My friends have often looked on in disgust as I dip a Cheeto in a bowl of custard, or put hot sauce peanut butter. The Cheeto thing is not good. Ice lollies dipped in a glass of white wine however, perfection.

Shaving for the outfit - Shaving only the sections of your leg that will be showing through your ripped jeans or cropped trousers is what they mean when they say work smarter not harder.

This list itself is hugely chaotic and I don’t actually know what purpose it serves, but I hope my chaotic recommendations inspired you to embrace a bit more chaos into your life. We can all get so bogged down by the idea of productivity, and perfection, and presenting a no-makeup-makeup clean-girl morning routine pilates gymshark girl boss aesthetic, when really its alright to wear the same pair of socks for three days in a row and cry on the tube and have really dirty headphones. Chaos is important, so let it spill out a bit more.