Ambivalent , But Listening

Ambivalent, but listening

A poem about the chaos of a womxn’s relationship to her naked body

Liv Collins

Artwork by Liv Collins

I took a nude

not to send, but to

hold in my palm

to look at

 my body

and wonder how I feel

 

 

the feelings are changing,

or maybe they’re not

changing

maybe it’s more that

I am just finally

listening

letting them rise

fall

break

instead of trying to push

them down ,

muffle the sounds and

prevent them from ever cusping

 

so I listen

to the writhing twinge when

I put on a dress

and to the quiet

 comfortable hum

of layered clothing,

white hoody under grey jumper

feels good

 

but how do I feel when the

fabrics fall ?

I don’t know

ambivalent to my womxnhood maybe

undecided

not loathing, just uncertain

do I feel like a womxn?

maybe

maybe not

maybe I don’t need to know

but not knowing brings a discomfort of its own

 

 

so here I stand

not really knowing

but listening

and for now

that feels enough

Find more from Liv @livcollins.art